My Dear Apocalypse,

“My film’s apocalypse was never about literal depictions of dramatic destruction. As queer folks of color, our identities are in many ways defined by our shared experience of violence. However, my film isn’t about portraying those catastrophes, those disasters, it’s about reinterpreting what makes an apocalypse. I don’t need to show a bashing or a suicide or the health decline of an HIV positive person in graphic detail because my audience is already familiar with that loss, has felt that pain, and shares that reality.  This film reaches for utopia through a modality of hope. It offers a portrait of what happens after, how we hold our apocalypses close and continue to survive.”

If you weren’t able to attend last night’s double screening of My Dear Apocalypse and Altar, have no fear! We’ve received many wonderful requests for a follow up screening. Keep your eyes open for future updates!

Also, thank you to all the lovely folks for coming out in support last night! It was an honor and a privilege to share the space with you.

Today is my div III screening. Over the past four years I’ve seen my entering class shrink, folks I love leave, and almost caved in to the urge to get out as well. It’s in large part because of the qpoc students of past and present that have struggled, grown, and resisted with me that I’ve managed to survive this institution. I know many of you won’t be in FPH tonight, but I want to extend my thanks for helping me get to this point. Lots of love and respect to you all. ♥

Talk about Div III nightmares…

In a few minutes I’ll be heading over to FPH to test screen the current cut of my film. This is one of the three nightmares I had last night:

I’m in a giant house attached to Mt. Holyoke that’s part bar, dance club, movie theater, and apartment complex. It’s Friday and I’m going to the theater to test screen my work for Sunday’s screening. When I get there, two rows are already filled with alum friends, my cast members (including folks I know won’t be able to attend), and long time friends from out of town. I am suddenly thrilled to know that they’ll all be here. There are lots of tears, emotional hugs, and reunions.

Then my film starts playing. Everything’s wrong. There are really sloppy scenes of things I didn’t film. Blooper reals. The sound is HORRIBLE and literally feels like it’s grating against my ear drum. THERE ARE RANDOM CLIPS FROM THE L WORD (that I haven’t seen but recognize as such).

I start crying uncontrollably but I can’t move out of my seat. I can’t say anything to stop the screening and my tears are completely silent.

It’s over and I’m ashamed. My friends are disappointed and I know there’s so way I can fix things. That even if I do manage to change things by Sunday, they won’t come. That this version will be stuck in their heads.

I woke up a couple of minutes ago. This was one of those dreams that lingers in your body even after you’ve escaped. I’m still shaken…I ran through the house to see if anyone’s awake to ask for a hug but only one other person’s here and they need sleep badly….

If anyone’s on campus, I really need a hug…

moniquill:

regina-and-the-dragons:

Pause for a moment.

Does it seem weird to anyone else that the shrinking habitat of polar bears due to global warming gets more attention than the disruption and danger posed to Inuit communities by same?

Boosting the fuck out of this because TRUTH.

(via navigatethestream)