Talk about Div III nightmares…
In a few minutes I’ll be heading over to FPH to test screen the current cut of my film. This is one of the three nightmares I had last night:
I’m in a giant house attached to Mt. Holyoke that’s part bar, dance club, movie theater, and apartment complex. It’s Friday and I’m going to the theater to test screen my work for Sunday’s screening. When I get there, two rows are already filled with alum friends, my cast members (including folks I know won’t be able to attend), and long time friends from out of town. I am suddenly thrilled to know that they’ll all be here. There are lots of tears, emotional hugs, and reunions.
Then my film starts playing. Everything’s wrong. There are really sloppy scenes of things I didn’t film. Blooper reals. The sound is HORRIBLE and literally feels like it’s grating against my ear drum. THERE ARE RANDOM CLIPS FROM THE L WORD (that I haven’t seen but recognize as such).
I start crying uncontrollably but I can’t move out of my seat. I can’t say anything to stop the screening and my tears are completely silent.
It’s over and I’m ashamed. My friends are disappointed and I know there’s so way I can fix things. That even if I do manage to change things by Sunday, they won’t come. That this version will be stuck in their heads.
I woke up a couple of minutes ago. This was one of those dreams that lingers in your body even after you’ve escaped. I’m still shaken…I ran through the house to see if anyone’s awake to ask for a hug but only one other person’s here and they need sleep badly….
If anyone’s on campus, I really need a hug…